Count Your Blessings

 

"Count your blessings", they say,
"And be thankful for all that you've got"
That's easy for you to say,
You're every little perfect thing I'm not

You got a lover, you already told me,
That's all well and good for you now
I can't get caught up in your shallow anxieties,
I have more important things to worry about

Ooh, I don't know who I am anymore
Ooh, I don't know who I want to be
Ooh, I don't know where I'm going tomorrow
All I know is I wouldn't choose this life if I had the choice

Call me beautiful, but that ain't so
I wanted to be someone, but that's just not the way it seems
Call me a genius, but you'll know more than I will ever know
I guess the only things I'll end up having are my broken dreams

It's not my fault, can you just see it in my eyes?
It's just that things keep happening to me
Shattered promises, and every now and then a bad surprise
And then I'm told I have no sense of responsibility

Ooh, I don't know who I am anymore
Ooh, I don't know who I want to be
Ooh, I don't know where I'm going tomorrow
All I know is I wouldn't choose this life if I had the choice

I don't want to be here anymore
My parents called me hopeless, and they were sincere
Soon I'll be able to open up life's door
And get myself the hell away from here

"Count your blessings", they said
"And be thankful for all that was given to you"
Well, you can keep believing that in your deluded head
And as you do, why not run a mile in my shoes?

Ooh, I don't know who I am anymore
Ooh, I don't know who I want to be
Ooh, I don't know where I'm going tomorrow
All I know is I wouldn't choose this life if I had the choice

Ooh, I don't know who I am anymore
Ooh, I don't know who I want to be
Ooh, I don't know where I'm going tomorrow
All I know is I wouldn't choose this life if I had the choice

 

 

 

This is Me

 

Surrounded by the innocents, I feel more than ready
To go out and face the destiny that lies before me
And yet again I'm stranded here, I cannot sail away
It's impossible to believe that I'll get out of here someday

I'm a good girl, and I've done my best
I've tried hard for so long
But it's getting late, I just can't wait
And I'm tired of being strong
I am weakend every time I see a falsely loving face
So when's my time? Will I find mine? Will I ever find my place?

So I write and I sing about raindrops and fear
And drown my sorrows in a bowl of chocolate ice cream
Though my mind is elsewhere, my body's stuck here
But I wait for the day when I can dream
And get out, fly away, do whatever it takes
To make myself become who I want to be
Because the more I stay here, the more my heart aches
I've grown up now, can't you see? This is me

Can't you tell I'm suffering every single day?
I go to school and do my job and always obey
But I'm not the girl you think I am, I'm more than just a clone
Misunderstood and different and feeling all alone
You don't know who's inside of me, what really makes me live
Neither do I, who am I? What do I have to give?
I know that I am past this stage, but where do I go now?
Will somebody please tell me who to be and how?

So I write and I sing about raindrops and fear
And drown my sorrows in a bowl of chocolate ice cream
Though my mind is elsewhere, my body's stuck here
But I wait for the day when I can dream
And get out, fly away, do whatever it takes
To make myself become who I want to be
Because the more I stay here, the more my heart aches
I've grown up now, can't you see? This is me

I'm not a child anymore
Won't you please stop throwing me to the floor?
I'm ready to move on, soon I will be gone
But there's still that uncertainty
Who do I really want to be?
I think I know...

So I write and I sing about raindrops and fear
And drown my sorrows in a bowl of chocolate ice cream
Though my mind is elsewhere, my body's stuck here
But I wait for the day when I can dream
And get out, fly away, do whatever it takes
To make myself become who I want to be
Because the more I stay here, the more my heart breaks
I've grown up now, can't you see? This is me

 

 

 

Online Boyfriend

 

Some couples go on dates
To the movies or a show
And some will just get in the car
And go wherever they wanna go
But I'm not like those "other" girls
Who spend every waking minute glued to the hip of their lover
I'm not like those boring chicks
With their three dimensional significant others
See, I've got an

Online Boyfriend
Sharing heart and soul over the internet
The info I've Googled and just can't forget
Online Boyfriend
Your screen name at the top of my buddy list
We've Instant Messaged but never kissed
Online Boyfriend
All our dates begin with http
And instead of "I Love You"
It's "Less Than Three"

You tell a joke and I Laugh Out Loud
But if I'm having a bad day
I don't need to tell you what's bothering me,
You can read it on my LJ
And if I'm ever feeling low
Down on my luck, or out of place
I know that I can count on you
To e-hug me through cyberspace
'Cause you're my

Online Boyfriend
Sharing heart and soul over the internet
The info I've Googled and just can't forget
Online Boyfriend
Your screen name at the top of my buddy list
We've Instant Messaged but never kissed
Online Boyfriend
All our dates begin with http
And instead of "I Love You"
It's "Less Than Three"

They say you can't spray perfume on an email
Well, emoticons are feelings too
What does it matter how good I look in this outfit
If you think my punctuation is cute?

Online Boyfriend
Sharing heart and soul over the internet
The info I've Googled and just can't forget
Online Boyfriend
Your screen name at the top of my buddy list
We've Instant Messaged but never kissed
Online Boyfriend
Online Boyfriend
Online Boyfriend
All our dates begin with http
And instead of "I Love You"
It's "Less Than Three"

 

 

My Best Friend

You betrayed me
You called me up and told me that you hate me (you hate me)
You deceived me
Things were great and then you chose to leave me (leave me)
You cancelled plans, you made me wait
And when I called you on it, you called me Flake
But what I still can’t see is why you’d do this to me

Because you left me like I was yesterday
And then you dropped me like I was nobody of worth
After six years, you threw it all away for nothing
And you ditched me
But do you miss me?

I don’t get it
We got along so well when we first met (first met)
It doesn’t make sense
You called me your soulmate and forever friend (forever friend)
But then you changed and let me go
You got a boyfriend and didn’t let me know
How can you hurt me after all our history?

Because you left me like I was yesterday
And then you dropped me like I was nobody of worth
After six years, you threw it all away for nothing
And you ditched me
But do you miss me?

I should have known better, I should have seen it coming
I should have known better, should have, would have, could have
I should have known better, I should have seen it coming
I should have known better than to trust you, my “best friend”

Should I forgive you?
What you did to me was inexcusable (there’s no excuse)
Or should I hate you?
Who’d have thought best friends could be so cruel? (How could you?)
I can’t believe it’s over now after all these years we’d survived somehow
After all is said and done, will I be the broken one?

Because you left me like I was yesterday
And then you dropped me like I was nobody of worth
After six years, you threw it all away for nothing
And you ditched me
But do you miss me?
Do you miss me?
I miss you

 

 

Unseen

 

Do you see me standing here?
While everyone else just passes right on by?
You don’t even see the tear
That’s falling from my watchful eye.

Am I invisible? I think so.
Why else do you surpass me as I wait?
You don’t even seem to know
That I’m not necessarily someone to hate.

Do I scare you? Am I a freak?
Do you think we are so not the same
That you can’t even go a week
Without calling me a hateful name?

There have been times when I’ve considered running away
And sometimes I cry myself to sleep
And I didn’t think I could live to see another day
For fear of you tossing my hopes in one big dejected heap.

Why are you so cruel?
Do you think you’re being cool?
Why are you so mean?
Am I really that unseen?

If I had a crystal ball
And I could tell what would soon come to be
Maybe then I wouldn’t fall
Into your conspiracy.

Just last week I thought you were done
Laughing about me, about my hair and my clothes,
But then you came up with reason number 101
Why I'm to be avoided, ‘cause everyone knows

That I’m a nobody, a dish on the side
How awful it is, just to see me.
Do you know how much I wish I could hide?
Do you know what it’s like to be me?

Don’t worry about me, though, I’m tough.
At least, that’s the stoic mask I wear.
Even when the going gets rough,
I take it all in, but outside I only stare.

Eventually I’m sure I’ll find a real friend;
One who’ll treat me as if I were a queen.
But for now, I’m stuck here till the end
Because I’m unseen.

 

 

 

Under the Raindrops

When I close my eyes.
You are right beside me
And I know you won’t ever leave
And I’m glowing
And I’m shining
There’s so much that I don’t understand
But you enable me to see more clearly
And I’m no longer under the raindrops.

But my eyes are open
And the rain is falling
And I’m getting wet, and people are calling
Crying out, “oh, Lord, please help us!”
And they shout “why won’t you heal us?”
And they ask, “why is there such suffering and strife?
I don’t want to live my entire life in the rain.”

When I close my eyes
Everything is suddenly
More perfect than I can believe
It’s not snowing
I’m not pining
And as you take hold of my hand
You guide me and I’m safe, and finally free
And I’m no longer under the raindrops.

But my eyes are open
And the rain is falling
And I’m getting wet, and people are calling
Crying out, “oh, Lord, please help us!”
And they shout “why won’t you heal us?”
And they ask, “why is there such suffering and strife?
I don’t want to live my entire life in the rain.”

If it were only possible to leave this broken place
If only I could fly away
Why is there always so much pain in this world?
I close my eyes and I’m free

But my eyes are open
And the rain is falling
And I’m getting wet, and people are calling
Crying out, “oh, Lord, please help us!”
And they shout “why won’t you heal us?”
And they ask, “why is there such suffering and strife?
I don’t want to live my entire life in the rain.”

 

 

Standing

 

I've prepared for this for most of my life
Twelve years of working unceasingly
Friends old and new have come and gone
I've been waiting for my time, waiting to be free
Now I'm on the edge, it's almost here
Time to show the world just who I am
In a short while, I'll be on my own
Trying to figure out my life's plan

And I'm standing on the edge of uncertainty
Standing at the crossroads of life and uncertainty
Opportunity's knocking, and life has opened the door
Ready or not, I've got to face up to what lies in store
And I don't think I am ready, isn't there some other way?
The sun has set on my childhood, but I don't want to face the brand new day
Too afraid to take that final step
So I'm standing

I'm eighteen, life couldn't be better
Immaturity and innocence left behind
People I have met will not forget me
But I'm frightened, scared to death of what I might find
It's a cold, cruel world out there
No one to help me or find me when I'm lost
A whole new world is waiting for me
I have to take responsibility, no matter the cost

And I'm standing on the edge of uncertainty
Standing at the crossroads of life and uncertainty
Opportunity's knocking, and life has opened the door
Ready or not, I've got to face up to what lies in store
And I don't think I am ready, isn't there some other way?
The sun has set on my childhood, but I don't want to face the brand new day
Too afraid to take that final step
So I'm standing

My life is changing much too quickly, I just want to slow down time
Adulthood might not be that tricky, I've just got to make it mine
Face each day with renewed spirit, carpe diem, seize the day
I plug my ears so I can't hear it, but growing up has to be this way
I want to go back to who I was before

And I'm standing on the edge of uncertainty
Standing at the crossroads of life and uncertainty
Opportunity's knocking, and life has opened the door
Ready or not, I've got to face up to what lies in store
And I don't think I am ready, isn't there some other way?
The sun has set on my childhood, but I don't want to face the brand new day
Too afraid to take that final step
So I'm standing
So I'm standing
So I'm standing

 

 

 

Three Steps Back

 

I don't know what to do at all
Seems when I try, I always fall
If just this once, I could know
Where I should turn, which way to go
I cannot hide it anymore
Why am I still who I was before?
Maybe someday, when I have grown
I'll know the things I wish I'd known
I'll know the things I wish I'd known

You only get one life to live
But what if you don't know what to give?
If you're confused, with no way out
Is that what life is all about?
You think you've tried, you think you're done
You've loved and lost, you've failed and won
But in the end, it all amounts
Are the mistakes what really count?
Are the mistakes what really count?

Why do I keep making the same mistakes?
Why don't I have what it takes
To just keep on? To remain strong?
To change whom I have been for so long?
It makes no sense, it doesn't fit
I can't seem to escape this pit
If nothing lost is something gained,
Why are these ideals not yet obtained?
Why are these ideals not yet obtained?

One step forward, three steps back
Something's missing that I still lack
One step forward, three steps back
Need to get myself on the right track

A tear rolls down my upturned face
I look for help to find my place
But help is none, and answer naught
And I'm left broken in this sacred spot
For life's a gift, some do impart
So why I can't I take this to heart?
I pray that I may clean this mess
And someday I'll find happiness
Someday I'll find happiness

 

 

 

Running Away

 

Some people wonder why I'd think of suicide
You might say that I'm crazy
But if you could walk a mile, spend one day in my life,
You'd see it wasn't that easy

And I'm running away from my troubles, running away from my tears
Call me a coward, but I gotta get out of this, gotta get out of here
I'm running away from my hopes and my fears, away from myself
Time to see, time to be somebody else

My friends are mad at me, ain't going happily
Why do you yell at me always?
It's time for me to go somewhere no one knows
Where I can spend all of my days

And I'm running away from my troubles, running away from my tears
Call me a coward, but I gotta get out of this, gotta get out of here
I'm running away from my hopes and my fears, away from myself
Time to see, time to be somebody else

And I'm so sorry it has to end like this
And I'm so sorry it has to be this way
I want you to know that I'll love you no matter what
I want you to know it's not your fault

'Cause I'm running away from my troubles, running away from my tears
Call me a coward, but I gotta get out of this, gotta get out of here
I'm running away from my hopes and my fears, away from myself
Time to see, time to be...

Running, running away from my troubles, running away from my tears
Call me a coward, but I gotta get out of this, gotta get out of here
I'm running away from my hopes and my fears, away from myself
Its time to see, time to be somebody else

 

 

 

Someone Else To Love

 

I was drunk at your party once
Felt a little sick, but still had fun
Until I went up to you and said
Exactly how I felt 'bout you
After that, things just weren't the same
No inside jokes, no cute nicknames
You went out with another girl
And led your life without me
And you turned the other way
So you wouldn't hear me say…

That I wonder what might have been
What could have been, what should have been
If you'd done what you should have done
We would have been together
It's a shame that you couldn't see
That I could be your meant-to-be
And that it was my destiny
To be alone forever
And you tore my world apart
The day you broke my heart
And you told me I'd find someone else to love.

So we went on a big choir trip
Got too much sun and not enough sleep
And a friend of mine came up to you
And said I had a crush on you
And regardless of its validity
She told the truth, but backstabbed me
And you didn't feel the same way
Said, "good luck finding somebody"
Still you said it's not the end
"We can just be friends"

That I wonder what might have been
What could have been, what should have been
If you'd done what you should have done
We would have been together
It's a shame that you couldn't see
That I could be your meant-to-be
And that it was my destiny
To be alone forever
And you tore my world apart
The day you broke my heart
And you told me I'd find someone else to love.

Unlucky in love, a failure at romance
Can't sing the song and don't know the dance
This one's taken, that one moved away
That one, on the other hand, he swings the other way
He's too young and he's the wrong religion
So tell me, when do I get a decision?
Everybody else is K-I-S-S-I-N-G
And I'm still stuck alone in the tree

I check my email every day
An instant message pops up to say
That you saw my picture on that blog
And you think that I'm pretty
Went to the movies, have all the same friends
Don't want this day to ever end
And two months later, you ask the question,
"Will you be my girlfriend?"
And you made my whole world new
The day you said "I love you"

Now I don't care what might have been
What could have been, what should have been
If they'd done what they should have done,
We would not be together
I'm ecstatic that you could see
That I should be your meant-to-be
And now it's not my destiny
To be alone forever
And I hope we never part
From the day you stole my heart
And I'm glad that I found someone else to love

I'm glad that you're the someone else I love

 

 

 

Get Out of My Head

 

Every time I look around, you're the one to be found, can't keep myself on the ground
(You haunt me)
I suppose you think it's neat when I see you on the street and I fall head over feet
(You taunt me)


Doesn't matter where I am, I look around and damn, why can't you leave me alone?
(Get out of my head)
If we're not meant to be, why all this pent-up anxiety?
(Get out of my head)

Your face comes up in my dreams, things are too perfect it seems, and then I wake up and scream
(I want you)
I know you don't even care that for you I'd be there, why is life so unfair?
(I crave you)


Why are these illusions? Why all the confusion? Why can't you leave me alone?
(Get out of my head)
As much as I want you to stay, I'm asking you to please go away
(Get out of my head)

You smile and look at me, do you see what I see, our perfect chemistry?
(Together)
Want to be in your arms and be safe from all harm, I can't resist your charm
(Forever)


Why do you keep appearing? Why your voice I keep hearing? Why can't you leave me alone?
(Get out of my head)
Why do you tempt me so? You told me long ago
(Get out of my head)

The more you say no, the more I want you
The more you say go, the more I need you
I could be perfectly happy if I never had to think of you again

Why do you seem so perfect? You can't possibly be worth it, why can't you leave me alone?
(Get out of my head)
Don't need you to survive, I want to live my own life,
(Get out of my head)
I love you so damn much, I hate you so damn much, why can't you leave me alone?
(Get out of my head)

 

 

Six Years Later

 

We were young, perhaps naïve
We were scared, we were lonely, with no one who believed
We were lost and needed to be found
And when we met each other, everything turned around

And it was good, it was right
It was so perfect and beautiful and it made our darkness bright
We had each other to help us find our way
And even though there was no romance, we loved each other anyway

One year later, so many things we'd shared
Two years later, so many times we'd cared
Three years later, we were growing up
Four years later, we knew our friendship would never stop
Five years later, things were better than ever
They asked us if we'd still be friends, and we said forever
We were the best thing, and nothing could go wrong
Six years later you were gone

How can it be that we're through?
Was it something that I said or did, or was it mostly you?
How could you be so full of hate
When just a week before, you called me soulmate?

I'll admit, it was a surprise
Did you do it on the phone so you couldn't look into my eyes?
So you couldn't see my pain?
Because you couldn't look at me and say,
"I never want to see you again"?

One year later, so many things we'd shared
Two years later, so many times we'd cared
Three years later, we were growing up
Four years later, we knew our friendship would never stop
Five years later, things were better than ever
They asked us if we'd still be friends, and we said forever
We were the best thing, and nothing could go wrong
Six years later you were gone

You could have had the decency to give me a clue
Instead of merely saying "it isn't me, it's you"
I guess it was stupid of me to believe
That a best friend should mean anything

I hope you're happy where you are
I hope you love your new house, new boyfriend, and new car
I hope your life is as perfect as can be
And I hope you're hurting twice as much as you hurt me

One year later, so many things we'd shared
Two years later, so many times we'd cared
Three years later, we were growing up
Four years later, we knew our friendship would never stop
Five years later, things were better than ever
They asked us if we'd still be friends, and we said forever
We were the best thing, and nothing could go wrong
Six years later you were gone

Song of Hope

Let there be peace on Earth, and good will come to man
If we all try harder for the rest of our lives, we can all do what we can
Then none will be afraid, no one will have to live in fear
There'll be no more fighting and no more pain
When we find our hope again

So we sing silent night on this holy night
Our joy we want to show so the world will know
That we sing for love and for peace on Earth
For this is our song of hope

Let there be peace on Earth, and let it begin with me
There'll be no more hunger and no more hurt
Oh Lord I pray to Thee

So we sing silent night on this holy night
Our joy we want to show so the world will know
That we sing for love and for peace on Earth
For this is our song of hope

So we sing silent night on this holy night
Our joy we need to show so the world will know
That we sing for love and for peace on Earth
For this is our song of hope