Change The Ending | marjoriehalloran

What I Haven't Told You

I’ve told you my favorite color— it’s yellow, same as yours

 I’ve told you every Bach motet I’ve ever sung
I’ve told you how I’ve always loved to stay up all night
Playing New Horizons and writing songs til the morning comes

And every day I talk to you, I draw you just a little closer to my world
And every night I close my eyes, I dream of you and fantasize that I’m your girl

And what I haven’t told you
Is how I think of you, think of you, think of you constantly
Or how my heart skips a beat when you light up my phone
What I haven’t told you is how you make me feel like I’m never alone
I’m never alone

I’ve told you all about my childhood
The way I quit piano lessons too soon
You’ve seen my shameful haircuts and
The letters I wrote to magazines and
Heard the baritones that made me swoon

And every day I talk to you, I draw you just a little closer to my world
And every night I close my eyes, I dream of you and fantasize that I’m your girl

I’ve told you all about my husband
And the live I have a thousand miles away
And how I wouldn’t give any of it up
But still I think of you all the time anyway

You’ve told me everything about your father
And your future plans for kids, a dog, and a wife
So I will watch from the sidelines
And hope that maybe we’ll cross paths in another life

And every day I talk to you, I draw you just a little closer to my world
And every night I close my eyes, I dream of you and fantasize that I’m your girl

Crazy With You

It starts with a cough and a fever
You lose your sense of smell and then you die
We don’t have enough hospital beds
So everybody has to stay inside

At first it sounds like a party
Playing video games every day
Time to read or bake sourdough bread
But over time our nerves start to fray

Take a look on social media
Every post looks the same
Spouse against partner, friend versus friend
As everybody slowly goes insane

But you and me, we’re different
It probably helps we’re introverts too
If I have to go crazy in quarantine
I’m glad I’m going crazy with you

You buy me giant bags of candy
I help you clean up after the cat
You go to the store for pizzas and ice cream
So what if we’re getting totally fat

I do my share of the housework
And sometimes your share as well
And every night we kill a bottle or five
While the world outside is going to hell

Global pandemic
State of emergency
All that really means is
You get to spend more time with me

All our friends are sick of their roommates
Or else they’re all alone with nothing to do
But since I have to go crazy in quarantine,
I’m glad I’m going crazy with you

We have such adorable matching face masks
But they don’t cover up your beautiful eyes
Your gym shorts complement my yoga pants so nicely
I'll take your hand in mine— after you sanitize

Stay home and stay safe
Stay six feet apart
Keep your social distancing
But keep me in your heart

We’ve been stuck here several months and counting
It'll be years until a vaccine comes through
So while we’re losing our minds in endless quarantine
I’m glad I’m going absolutely batshit bonkers crazy with you

(I'm going out and having an affair as soon as it won't kill me!)

Stars in the Desert

Feelings and wishes and dreams

An end to the means

Meanings in endings

Thoughts and hopes and plans

I don’t understand

I’m just pretending

And you were there all along

I sang your song

Before knowing how it goes

Before it made sense

In your defense

Things only I know

You’ll show me stars in the desert

We’ll see the Milky Way

You’ll make a cocktail and name it after me someday

Then there came a moment

Not knowing what it meant

The whole world stopped to breathe

Here and then, now and there

Handle with care

Try to believe

How can we still connect

What to expect

While we are waiting

Clear as day in my mind

Craving the sunshine

Stop hesitating

You’ll show me stars in the desert

The planet stands still

Someday I’ll show you the empire I built

The tables have turned

Put in a leaf and expand

Not like I planned

That’s how it goes

And yet I have learned

While you are choosing

Although I am losing

Nobody knows

Nobody knows what will come

Not even you

Not even me

Not even you

Not even me

Now, it isn’t my turn

When will I learn?

It never could be

But can this somehow go on?

I’ll still sing your song

Imagining harmony

You’ll show me stars in the desert

I’ll show you the sea

I’ll show you stars in the hills

And there you’ll be

There you’ll be

Pandora (Change the Ending)

If you ruin everything, it’s all your fault
If you ruin everything, it’s all your fault
If you ruin everything, it’s all your fault

You wonder what would happen
You wonder what they’d say
You wonder if it would be the way you always dreamed
You wonder if your secret
Would be so well-received
Could things be any different than they seem?

You tell yourself it’s better
To tell a simple truth
You tell yourself that everyone loves honesty
But when the truth is not that simple
And sometimes lies protect
What do you do?
What do you do?

Keep the lid on tightly
Don’t let it sneak out
You can’t put all those worms back in the jar
Because It’s not a story
Where you can change the ending
Just by flipping all the pages to the start

No matter what they tell you
The world doesn’t work this way
You can’t have chocolate and vanilla both
You might spend your whole life wondering
How the other one might taste
You should have thought of that before you took the oath

You tell yourself it’s easier
Just to hold it in
You tell yourself that nobody likes to rock the boat
But when you’re yearning to explore
For fear of missing out
What do you do?
What do you do?

Keep the lid on tightly
Don’t let it sneak out
You can’t put all those worms back in the jar
Because It’s not a story
Where you can change the ending
Just by flipping all the pages to the start

If you ruin everything, it’s all your fault
If you ruin everything, it’s all your fault
If you ruin everything, it’s all your fault

You don’t know what you want
You know what you don’t want
You just want the chance to try
And if you fall, at least you had a chance to fly

Keep the lid on tightly
Don’t let it sneak out
You can’t put all those worms back in the jar
Because It’s not a story
Where you can change the ending
Just by flipping all the pages to the start

If you ruin everything, it’s all your fault
If you ruin everything, it’s all your fault
If you ruin everything, it’s all your fault...